It's true, I could, but that would take effort. Says one of the charter members of the apathy club in high school. Oh if I only still had the T Shirt...sigh.
Well, anyway, after spending a lousy Sunday in personal turmoil and trying not to get too deep into my melancholy I find myself just feeling well blah. And yet for some reason I feel that I have the energy and the motivation to share this all with you folks. I am a complicated sort I suppose.
The thing is that blah or not I am also feeling irked about something. However, I am still not sure just how much of it I want to bring forth since it could be potentially hurtful to some and it could also make others think I am a little odd. But here goes nothing...
The continuous enigma that is people.
Perhaps, I am more than just a little fucked in the head when it comes to the social scene and trusting people blah, blah, blah but I swear I just don't understand people. I will quote Jim Morrison: "People are stranger when you're a stranger." And that is exactly how I feel for the most part; like a stranger. I can't seem to crack the "friend" code and break through to even a coffee date or just some "girl" or "boy" talk once I've established first contact. I know that this is a regular theme for my blog but it is because it is the most significant and relevant topic in my life right now. Are most people just that phony and polite as to placate me with a "We should hang out sometime!" but then cop out of the actual follow through? Despite the fact that it can sometimes be like pulling teeth I know of only one person in my life that I can actually count on to follow up on a plan and make it happen. For that I give him major props but even that at times has felt like we were planning the invasion of Normandy when it comes time to pin him down to an actual date and time. But still, I would take that kind of wrangling over the nothing that I get time and time again from others who don't know how to keep their mouths shut instead of offering the "Ya'll come back and see us sometime! Ya, hear?" that really doesn't mean squat for actually making any serious plans to get together. I just wish I knew what was so repulsive about me that drive them away and why people feel the need to be polite and phony instead of honest?
