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I am just writing a short blurb to let everyone know that I am currently working on a blog entry with the working title "In Defense of Buffy The Vampire Slayer & Why Buffy Is indeed a Super Hero." (At this time I am mentally formulating this upcoming post for my blog.) The post will either be one long entry or it will be written in installments. In this blog I will put forth my reasons for why I believe that indeed Buffy IS a Superhero. This blog entry is going to be sort of a: "Nobody asked me but..."

I always enjoyed the show although I must admit that I have never seen the movie. However, from all that I've read concerning the movie and the subsequent television show and despite the fact that the show was originally established as a continuation of the movie; the two entities are very different. Not just in obvious ways such as an entirely new cast; but also in the tone of the show versus the movie. Where the movie was supposed to be just a comedy about a California blonde who just happens to have super powers the television show focused more heavily on the evolution of Buffy from a bimbo to a good,caring, strong and resilient woman who also kicks ass and saves the world... A lot!

I think that this is a good place to stop for now as I don't want to give away too much before I officially get into the blog. Hopefully that was enough to whet your appetite for a little bit of brain candy but perhaps I can make it more than that and give you an idea of just what I loved about this show and its characters.

Water, water everywhere and not a drop to drink.

Though this is a common and some would say constant theme of mine in this blog I have to admit that in the spring time my personal woes in regard to my (lack of) a real-life social network (as in a few close friends instead of "friends" on that other social network) really starts to get to me. I lament the fact that when the snow melts and the temperatures moderate and the days get longer I can think of a million and one ways in which I would like to get out and enjoy it but alas I haven't anyone with which to share these escapades. So, at a time when I have the money at my disposal and yes even the time I haven't the desire to go it alone. The more time that passes the less fun it becomes to keep ones own company all the live loong day. It is not that I haven't met people or that I don't know people who I suppose if circumstances were different would be good friends or even dear friends but for some reason or another these "relationships" never seem to advance to that level. I get breadcrumbs here and there but never are my expressions of friendship reciprocated. I literally don't know how to convert acquaintances into Real friends. I can honestly say that I had somewhat more success as a teenager though at the time I thought that I was of course tragically unpopular and definitely not cool enough for most people.

The real problem as I see it is the fact that I seem to lack that certain Je ne sais quoi which peaks their interest. I don't have a lot of the same interests in music or TV shows or movies et cetera (How do you like that; French and Latin in the same paragraph?) and therefore perhaps people cannot relate to me or I to them? I would accept this explanation if it didn't have one fatal flaw... and that is that often people "reject" me long before they've even taken the time to get to know me to discover a lack of common interests. So where's the love people?? Why the cold-shoulder? Why do I repel you so? Will I ever know the answers to these questions or will I continue to wander through life clueless and meeting person after person a conversation here and maybe a phone call there only to find that this person has suddenly fallen off the face of the earth? Will Santa Claus ever learn of this island of misfit toys where I've been banished and I will eventually know the feeling of true friendships? God I really hope so and soon!

Judge, the jury and executioner.

First off, I apologize to my loyal readers for the lack of new material here. It was not intentional and all that I have to say for myself is that I will try to do better in 2011. I will not condescend you with excuses or false promises of daily posts or try to promise more than I know that I can reasonably make good on. I will simply do the best that I cannot to let my insecurities and my lack of motivation to impede my desire to blog. There, do you forgive me? Will you continue to read this that I put forth with so much passion and thought? I certainly hope so as I look forward to the comments, the feedback and the threads of offshoot discussions my posts have sometimes inspired. For, if I can inspire just one person to think about my words then I shall feel good that I am spreading my ideas around the net.

I hope that you, my loyal readers (even those who may read but decline to comment) have not judged me too harshly for a paucity of posts (I do like my alliterations at times) and will give me your undivided attention when you see that I have posted something new!

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Let me get down to business!

Later that night I got to thinking about judgment.. All right, all right, I am NOT Carrie Bradshaw I know this but I can dream! However, that show has proven (much more than I ever imagined it to be) infinitely quote able. The sheer amount of insight and yes dare I say it wisdom that can be found in that half an hour show that is basically wrapped in a whipped cream package is startling! I guess it's because like many shows, there is more to it than meets the eye. You will discover this when I blog about Buffy The Vampire Slayer without reservation or fear of yes judgment from those who cannot appreciate it. Buffy is to this day my favorite show and it has even reached Star Trek level fandom. Buffy is quickly becoming classic and has truly stood alone in the Super Hero Lexicon as perhaps the best of female super hero role models. But, that is another blog for another day.

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Judgment we all do it: I don't like Chinese food! I don't eat onions! I hate that show! I can't stand Bare Naked Ladies! Why is she wearing that? The movie: "On The Waterfront" was the best nap that I've ever had! * (Yes that was me! She said sheepishly.) A modicum of judgment is probably healthy. We have to know ourselves well enough to know what is right. In order to make the right decisions in life we must discern the good from the bad or what is "for us". But what is the yardstick that we use to make less crucial decisions? How do we know when we are being too judgmental? When is it okay to let go of these judgments and experience something outside of our "comfort zones"?

I suppose that the answer to this question is related to our pain threshold. If something like Chinese food we find to be completely intolerable than it is unlikely that we'll ever change our minds. But, could it not be good to once in a while to eat the Chinese food despite our misgivings for the sake of a sanity check to ensure that we've made the correct judgment about it or if maybe it was just a bad batch that influenced this decision?

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I am judgmental I know this. I own it if you will. I accept that there are some areas of life where I am unwavering and unwilling to change my mind. I am not going to "experiment" with illegal substances. No way, now how, never! I made up my mind a long time ago that this was just not for me. I am thirty years old now (gasp!) and I am done debating it end of discussion.

But, what I will discuss is why the word "judgmental" became such a dirty word even outscoring the "C' word in certain circles. In my estimation the word judgmental is merely a kind of social Kryptonite wherein the person who's labeled as such has their credibility challenged and their argument ostensibly thrown out of court. No longer is anything they say valid nor does it have any merit. This judgmental person is just ignorant, unintelligent and a snob or a prude. But, as Carrie Bradshaw (or Sarah Jessica Parker as Carrie Bradshaw) once uttered: "Are we too quick to judge judgement?" I know that I am not the only person who feels this way and in fact I must agree that at times the word judgmental is simply used to excuse any kind of behavior by removing the question of right and wrong. I simply cannot subscribe to this kind of "anything goes mentality". If that makes me a judgmental person then so be it. (I'm really trying to get away from the cliches here but it is difficult with the weird sleep that I've been having lately. So please don't judge me too harshly for the gratuitous use of cliches in this most recent blog. I will do better next time!)

From this discussion of judgment I could launch into an entirely different (but not entirely unrelated) topic of how nobody seems to be able to truly apologize for their behavior and mistakes anymore. It is always: "I'm sorry if what I did offended you or hurt you or caused you undue stress or pain but not:"I'm sorry that I was a completely thoughtless asshole and jerk etc and had no regard for your feelings or that i totally invaded your dance space..." because that form of apology would imply responsibility and that's right that the person was WRONG. Not that! The: "I'm sorry if what I did offended anyone because that was not my intention..." thing takes the offender off the hook and what they are really saying is: "I'm sorry that what I said/did pissed you off but you're the one with the problem not me! So, in reality I am not sorry I just wish that you hadn't busted me on it."

This lame not-an-apology is typically reserved for the celebrity types who feel compelled to apologize for their "mistakes" in order to save their careers and face. However, I fear that these obligatory non apologies will find their way into the nation's youth who don't need another example of how what not to do.

Letting go of our judgments is maybe the most difficult thing to do. We hold steadfastly to these opinions, mindsets, stances for good reason; they are what we use to determine our lives. But, perhaps it behooves us just a little bit to find those alterations befitting what we can reasonably bend in order to let go and have some fun. I found that letting someone invade your dance space just a little can break the ice (especially when you need an ice-breaker) and can make a night or an experience all worth it. I still need work in this area but every little bit helps. How's that for positivity?