"Why is it that we only seem to believe the negative things people say about us? No matter how much evidence there is to the contrary a neighbor, a face, an ex boyfriend can cancel out everything we thought was once true. Odd, but when it comes to life and love, why do we believe our worst reviews?"-From The Episode of Sex And The City Entitled "Critical Condition"
This is a very good question that Ms. Bradshaw (or the writers of the show) have raised, there is just one problem... and that is that the criticisms that I am about to address in this blog are actually coming from me and they are about me. Sigh...
As I briefly hinted at on Facebook recently, I have suddenly begun to notice myself having body issues. Mind you, I am keenly aware of how blessed I am for the fact that I have always been more or less satisfied with the way that I look. This is not coming from an egotistical place it is simply the truth. I have little to complain about when it comes to my physical appearance. I am not a shallow person and I don't obsess about my looks. For me, makeup is optional and I only wear it when I am in the mood to experiment. I don't mean to shatter any illusions you may have about me but I must admit to that fact that I am rather lazy about shaving my legs especially if I know that my legs are not going to be exposed. So, why is it that no matter how confident we may think we are about our looks we all fall victim to the same insecurities when it comes to our looks?
Inevitably, there comes a time when age creeps in and though I lack the requisite wrinkles, gray hairs and varicose veins that normally accompany maturity, that does not mean that I haven't notice or experienced some of the more subtle physical signs. Here is the part where I divulge perhaps more than you wanted to know but if I am going to talk about it let's talk about it! I have looked in the mirror after a shower or before and wondered about the state of my chest. Is it traveling south without me? Will it soon resemble the chest of a thirty-something or is this fear of a sagging chest more in my head than in my mammaries? After that very blunt yet rhetorical question I suppose that I have no business reprimanding anyone for "TMI" in his or her blogs ever again, right? Anyway... I have to say that this sort of thing is universal I'm sure, but I guess I just didn't expect to find myself pondering these questions at this point in my life.
The unfortunate side effect of aging is that your age eventually catches up with you not matter how young you feel either emotionally or physically. On the days when we are more tired or worn out it is much more difficult to focus on the positives and not fall victim to the creeping internal criticisms. Sigh... I should harder to pay attention to what I have going for me but that is a goal that we all have but so few of us ever really achieve. I should try and figure out why my already poor circulation seems to have gotten worse. This is not just simply annoying but it is also worry some. I should be trying to figure out how get out and about and mingle with the those other than the AARP set. But, for some reason instead of adapting a more positive attitude about the stuff that I have I instead go in search for the next physical flaw because I am female and apparently it is genetic.
I will quote SATC again because again, I love this quote! "Women pic it's in our DNA." Is that too sexist?
