First off, I apologize to my loyal readers for the lack of new material here. It was not intentional and all that I have to say for myself is that I will try to do better in 2011. I will not condescend you with excuses or false promises of daily posts or try to promise more than I know that I can reasonably make good on. I will simply do the best that I cannot to let my insecurities and my lack of motivation to impede my desire to blog. There, do you forgive me? Will you continue to read this that I put forth with so much passion and thought? I certainly hope so as I look forward to the comments, the feedback and the threads of offshoot discussions my posts have sometimes inspired. For, if I can inspire just one person to think about my words then I shall feel good that I am spreading my ideas around the net.
I hope that you, my loyal readers (even those who may read but decline to comment) have not judged me too harshly for a paucity of posts (I do like my alliterations at times) and will give me your undivided attention when you see that I have posted something new!
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Let me get down to business!
Later that night I got to thinking about judgment.. All right, all right, I am NOT Carrie Bradshaw I know this but I can dream! However, that show has proven (much more than I ever imagined it to be) infinitely quote able. The sheer amount of insight and yes dare I say it wisdom that can be found in that half an hour show that is basically wrapped in a whipped cream package is startling! I guess it's because like many shows, there is more to it than meets the eye. You will discover this when I blog about Buffy The Vampire Slayer without reservation or fear of yes judgment from those who cannot appreciate it. Buffy is to this day my favorite show and it has even reached Star Trek level fandom. Buffy is quickly becoming classic and has truly stood alone in the Super Hero Lexicon as perhaps the best of female super hero role models. But, that is another blog for another day.
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Judgment we all do it: I don't like Chinese food! I don't eat onions! I hate that show! I can't stand Bare Naked Ladies! Why is she wearing that? The movie: "On The Waterfront" was the best nap that I've ever had! * (Yes that was me! She said sheepishly.) A modicum of judgment is probably healthy. We have to know ourselves well enough to know what is right. In order to make the right decisions in life we must discern the good from the bad or what is "for us". But what is the yardstick that we use to make less crucial decisions? How do we know when we are being too judgmental? When is it okay to let go of these judgments and experience something outside of our "comfort zones"?
I suppose that the answer to this question is related to our pain threshold. If something like Chinese food we find to be completely intolerable than it is unlikely that we'll ever change our minds. But, could it not be good to once in a while to eat the Chinese food despite our misgivings for the sake of a sanity check to ensure that we've made the correct judgment about it or if maybe it was just a bad batch that influenced this decision?
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I am judgmental I know this. I own it if you will. I accept that there are some areas of life where I am unwavering and unwilling to change my mind. I am not going to "experiment" with illegal substances. No way, now how, never! I made up my mind a long time ago that this was just not for me. I am thirty years old now (gasp!) and I am done debating it end of discussion.
But, what I will discuss is why the word "judgmental" became such a dirty word even outscoring the "C' word in certain circles. In my estimation the word judgmental is merely a kind of social Kryptonite wherein the person who's labeled as such has their credibility challenged and their argument ostensibly thrown out of court. No longer is anything they say valid nor does it have any merit. This judgmental person is just ignorant, unintelligent and a snob or a prude. But, as Carrie Bradshaw (or Sarah Jessica Parker as Carrie Bradshaw) once uttered: "Are we too quick to judge judgement?" I know that I am not the only person who feels this way and in fact I must agree that at times the word judgmental is simply used to excuse any kind of behavior by removing the question of right and wrong. I simply cannot subscribe to this kind of "anything goes mentality". If that makes me a judgmental person then so be it. (I'm really trying to get away from the cliches here but it is difficult with the weird sleep that I've been having lately. So please don't judge me too harshly for the gratuitous use of cliches in this most recent blog. I will do better next time!)
From this discussion of judgment I could launch into an entirely different (but not entirely unrelated) topic of how nobody seems to be able to truly apologize for their behavior and mistakes anymore. It is always: "I'm sorry if what I did offended you or hurt you or caused you undue stress or pain but not:"I'm sorry that I was a completely thoughtless asshole and jerk etc and had no regard for your feelings or that i totally invaded your dance space..." because that form of apology would imply responsibility and that's right that the person was WRONG. Not that! The: "I'm sorry if what I did offended anyone because that was not my intention..." thing takes the offender off the hook and what they are really saying is: "I'm sorry that what I said/did pissed you off but you're the one with the problem not me! So, in reality I am not sorry I just wish that you hadn't busted me on it."
This lame not-an-apology is typically reserved for the celebrity types who feel compelled to apologize for their "mistakes" in order to save their careers and face. However, I fear that these obligatory non apologies will find their way into the nation's youth who don't need another example of how what not to do.
Letting go of our judgments is maybe the most difficult thing to do. We hold steadfastly to these opinions, mindsets, stances for good reason; they are what we use to determine our lives. But, perhaps it behooves us just a little bit to find those alterations befitting what we can reasonably bend in order to let go and have some fun. I found that letting someone invade your dance space just a little can break the ice (especially when you need an ice-breaker) and can make a night or an experience all worth it. I still need work in this area but every little bit helps. How's that for positivity?
